resolutions for 2010

After the debaucle that was last year (a wild mix of bad grades, losing my job, too many cigarettes and too few productive days), I decided that in order for this new one to not plunge into the depths of epic failure, I needed some goals and aspirations for myself. After some soul searching and going over lost items, i came up with thirty resolutions that should do the trick. Most are concrete, tangible things; while others are changes I wish to see in myself. Here we go.

  1. Violin. After thirteen years of intense devotion, I let my talent slip into oblivion by ignoring my instrument for six solid months, when I found that booze and unmentionables gave easier, less energy consuming pleasure. Big mistake. Music is like a language; after a while, it runs away from you. Okay, bad metaphor. But you get the point. I want to pick up the violin every day like I used to, devote a block of my time to praticing and discovering new concertos, and maybe join a group when I get to college in the fall.
  2. Books. Although I do read constantly and of a variety of topics, I never kept track of what I did read, nor did I write anything memorable down. So if I learned anything from those pages it’s a mystery to me. In 2010, I want to stomp one book a week, as well as document tidbits of interesting info, so I can perhaps edit it into my own work.
  3. Creative Writing. I found that writing doesn’t just happen. And it didn’t happen very often at all last year; in fact, all I could scrounge together were  a grouping of poems, although beautiful (written during a rough breakup), but nothing else concrete. I propose to write at least one work a week, whether it be a solitary poem, essay, or flash fiction. That way my pen won’t rust. Or something.
  4. Suicide Girls. Okay, this seems like a stupid resolution, but I really want to join. I’ve always loved photography, even if it’s not something I would take on as a hobby, and I always wanted to model but been too short to do so. Thank you, asian ancestors. I also love the message the girls send about female empowerment, and ink and metal are my fortes.
  5. University. I don’t want my college career to be as much of a waste as my highschool one was. Therefore, I’m setting up the goal to maintain, if possible, a 4.0. I also secretly want to “be involved” whatever that means. I’ve always been told that “being involved” made you a better student and person all around, but never got around to it because I avoid people in groups like the plague.
  6. Relationships. This is a tough one for me. I have bad luck with relationships, I have to admit, and usually, I’m the one that screws it up. I attract the wrong kind of people and attention, and I’m often not as committed, or loyal as I should be. I’m in the first relationship in which I see a future so I’m hoping it stays that way. I also want to build better relationships with my family and with people in general. I need to break my anti-social shell or I’ll become a cat lady before i’m 20.
  7. Art. Art critics are even worse than literary critics, because art is supposed to be interpretable and there are no such things as “mistakes”. I found out the hard way that it’s the polar opposite, that art may be interpretable, but always full of mistakes and in need of sharpening. I propose to work on one peice of art a week to “sharpen” my skills, and follow a different artist a week, in order to avoid the rants of art critics (who themselves cannot produce art out of their arse). Ahem.
  8. Music. This is a silly goal that I made up just to see if I could do it, and that is: completely fill my 120 gig ipod. I’m at almost 50 now, so it shouldn’t be completely impossible.
  9. food. Starting Jan 1, I am going to go Vegetarian. It’s probably ridiculous, because I love meat more than anyone on this planet, but it’s not just a challenge, but it’s a healthier lifestyle. I can’t say I totally support the green people’s basis for vegetarianism, but I’m sure they won’t complain. I’m cutting out fast food, pop, junk food, and processed foods as well.
  10. more healthy shtuff. on top of the food changes, I plan on working out three times a week (which seems pretty easy), and cutting down on smoking (which seems hard as hell). I want to give up the habit altogether, but cold turkey is the devil, so I’m thinking easy does the trick.
  11. journaling. aside from this blog and notes i take, I want to start a daily journal. I read somewhere that all writers must keep a journal for their own purpose, to look back on and such. It’s always been tough for me to keep anything going for more than maybe a few weeks. This should be a challenge.
  12. job. after losing my job due to ludicrous bosses who may or may not have had it out to get me, I’ve remained unemployed now for two months. It’s a bummer. I want to find a job in this city now, or if not, by my university for the fall. I want to work at a secondhand bookstore or a small music store, but beggers cant be choosers.
  13. my self-consciousness. as outspoken and crazy as I seem, I hate crowds of people, people I don’t know, and I avoid them at all costs. I think I’m losing out by doing so, although I’m not exactly sure how. I want to be more comfortable being myself around other people, regardless of what I think they’ll think. Cause, who really gives a damn.

here’s to next year being a hit (:

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